My husband and I have been contemplating getting a will done for the past 7 years. I know that he had something pretty basic put together each time he deployed but we hadn’t ever gone into this task together, because….who in the right mind wants to think about death?! That being said, minor health scares and 3 children later, we decided it’s probably time. I’ve talked to several friends about this and each time I enter into a discussion on this topic I’m met with the same response…nausea. Any person whom I consider to be a fantastic parent becomes literally sick thinking of the idea of leaving their children behind. I don’t believe for a second that God created us to be put in this situation but it happens and I feel immensely responsible for my babies and their future.
We have high expectations for our children and it breaks my heart to think of what would become of them if we weren’t here. They would be taken care of but not by us….and that’s not okay. After all, we were created to be parents to these little ones. Our experiences, advice, families, behaviors, and talents have been tweaked and tailored throughout our lives to meet the needs of these babies. So, I thought, why don’t I tell them what I think? Just so that if something happened they would know. They would know the importance of their individuality and have no doubt that they have a purpose in this world. I decided I would feel a bit more settled if I wrote it down. Just a short letter to my children, something I felt they could only receive from me.Fair warning, mamas may tear up ( I cried as I typed this) but if you’re interested, read on…
Monkey: It seems silly to call you this because compared to your siblings you aren’t at all the monkey of the family, but this has been your nickname from day 1. You were my first real love after your daddy. Your life is such a gift to us. I have no doubt you have already made a difference in the world by your kindness and thoughtfulness. You are smart, caring, funny and gentle. God knew what he was doing when He placed you as the oldest child in our family because being a caretaker comes naturally to you. Don’t ever become upset when you feel that people are taking advantage of you for your kindness. You are a light my love, and the shine that you give to the world is a piece of heaven, so nobody here can take it from you. Your sensitivity is a gift that many people don’t have and will benefit from you sharing it. Be quick to listen and don’t forget that just because you’re a tomboy and critter loving girl, doesn’t mean I don’t expect you to act like a lady. Ladies like to go fishing and hunting too 😉
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Kealybug: You are my little sparkler. You’re strong willed, determined, and hilarious. I have no worries that one day you will be able to take care of yourself with no problem. You remind me a lot of your daddy. It gives you pure joy to make other people laugh and you’re good at it. I am so appreciative of your giving spirit. You take your time and put so much thought into the small gifts you make for mommy and daddy. I love that you pay attention to details and remember them. No matter how well your life is going be sure not to become so confident in yourself that you forget to lean on God for your needs. You are a gorgeous little girl but know there is so much more to you than beauty. Cooking with you is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world to do and I hope that you remember it and do the same when you are a mommy one day. Keep on dancing, keep that feistiness but be sure to have respect, and keep that red hair 🙂
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
My little man: My son. Anyone that knows me well knows that my life plan included 3 boys for children. I was terrified of the difficulties that I was sure would come with raising girls. Drama, dealing with body image issues and I feel like a ton more. So when I became pregnant for the 3rd time we were sure God had a sense of humor and we would raise 3 lovely little girls. You are such a blessing. When we found out you were a boy your daddy and I cried like babies in the hospital parking lot. You were an absolute gift to us after a ROUGH few years (to put it very lightly) It was no wonder we found out at your baby blessing that in some translations your name means “Peace”. You’re only 11 months old but you are completely full of joy. You have it and you love to share it. You’re silly and are catching right up to your big sisters. You make our family so happy and I know that one day you will be a strong leader like your daddy. Be sure to recognize that when you are behaving like a leader, whether you know it or not people are following. Give them something worthy of following. I can already tell that you are going to love taking things apart and rebuilding them and I can already see the wheels in your head turn as you take it all in. You made me realize what an enormous gift God gave us by sacrificing his one and only son and I can’t ever thank you enough for that.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by power of the Holy Spirit.
I encourage you that as difficult as it may seem, to take the time to do this for your children and even your spouse. Keep it somewhere, pray it over them, print it out in your home, read it to them if they are old enough or even if they aren’t. There is such power in letting those you love know your expectations and the faith you have in their future. Each one of us was made to fill a purpose in this world and I want to be positive that if I’m not here, my children have no doubt of their value.
Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from Him.